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What it takes for two Mamas to go skiing

January 26, 2010


1)      Enlist two Daddy’s to take assorted children for the morning. (Col and Rose, predictably, shuffle through snow on Dan’s snowshoe tracks out to Hobo Camp).

2)      Hustle for second rate snacks after kids get first pick. Find lumpy, suspect bricks of gingerbread in freezer, baked for Christmas cookie exchange but withdrawn and exiled due to homemaker-shame.

3)      Scrounge extra pair of ski poles for Amy whose poles were long ago enlisted as fence posts for garden enclosure. (Give thanks for random pair of poles found within three minutes in our shed, likely a remnant from a former housemate, housemate’s boyfriend, couch-surfer, couch-surfer’s AA buddy, or backyard roadkill-processing friend).

4)      Scrape ice off Dan’s work truck, remove 100 pounds of tools from front seat and drive to Amy’s house while practicing my side-mirror skills (rear window fell off during hunting trip, now replaced with plywood).

5)      Dig Amy’s skis out of five feet of snow, bindings intertwined with wire fencing, standing in as fence posts in (feeble) hopes to keep exuberant golden retriever in the yard.

6)      Assist Amy’s plus-sized dog in hoisting self into truck bed.

7)      Wonder, as we drive, about the coming together of decades-old ski equipment, milk-producing motherly bodies and the moonscape of endless snow.

8)      Fall on first small hill, while Amy glides like a snow angel. Curse.

9)      Get in the groove: swooshing skis, sun on faces, steamy breath, bodies happily remembering.

10)  Receive our first warning: no dogs allowed on cross-country track.

11)  Reprieved: man with official emblem on jacket says dog okay just this once, but doesn’t want to see any poop. (*firm stare*)

12)  Nervous about outlaw dog, but grateful for so much: the low tech ski-gear succeeding; this boundless blue Colorado sky, the empty vessel through which sunshine pours.

13)  Dog poops; We gobble the weird, chewy gingerbread, vacating bag for clean up. Curse dog.

14)  Carry said excrement in backpack for another loop while eight more people inform us of dog’s criminal status.

15)  Ski back to truck, click out of skis, thighs quivery from exertion, eyes dazzled by snow, heart pirouetting from epic adventure.

16)  Check clock, notice we skied for exactly one hour.  

17)  Drive to town. Sit outside in front of Bread bakery, mochas in hand while dog sleeps in truck, wedged between power saw and jumble of skis. Talk about our kids perhaps, just a little. Perfect morning.

*This post is dedicated to my dear friend Amy, of 16 years. I think somehow, not much has changed.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. January 26, 2010 1:04 pm

    what a fun read!!!!

    loved the whole thing but i think #3 is my favorite.


  2. January 26, 2010 6:36 pm

    I’m laughing over here.

  3. Amy permalink
    January 27, 2010 12:19 am

    And what an epic adventure it was thanks to your ambitious nature. I thought the gingerbread was made special for the occasion though, and that your quick witted reaction to present me with a birthday treat and cover for Noli’s shameless behavior at the same time was extremely smooth. The exact manifestation of “epic adventure” may have changed in recent years but true, not much else has.

  4. January 27, 2010 2:55 pm

    Loved this! :)

    What was your favorite part? Mine would be the mochas after being out in the cold!

  5. Judy permalink
    January 27, 2010 5:43 pm

    So skillfully written: contrasting all those logistics with the exhilaration of the ski/snow/sky scene & with the exaltation of pulling off the Mamas-escape – brava!

  6. January 28, 2010 12:22 am

    o yes the tools on the front seat! I know all about those.

    You come up with the best and funniest posts ever. I always love to visit.
    love #17. sounds like a great day and a great friendship too.

    P.S Thank you for your loving and encouraging words today. I am happy for a friend like you.

  7. January 28, 2010 12:06 pm

    I could smell the snow and taste the cookies. Did your thighs burn?

  8. January 28, 2010 1:51 pm

    I can’t stop laughing about the dog’s criminal status!

  9. Caraway permalink
    January 29, 2010 10:17 pm

    Yes, #3 is hilarious!! and 5 feet of snow?? Wow! Sounds like that first winter you and i lived in that little house… I can’t remember the name of the street anymore. S. 3rd or something. Anyway, glad you mamas are skiing!

  10. January 30, 2010 1:17 am

    That’s just perfect. I love the detail in your writing. I feel like I’m there with you. Love that old friend comfort.

  11. February 3, 2010 5:48 pm

    Soooo funny–I got scared when the poop and the gingerbread were on the same line…


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