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The machine died

May 6, 2010

If a computer crashes at 6512 feet and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Rose reports that the sound is “ohhhhhh shit,” a phrase she enjoys using to narrate my (extremely) small life disasters.

Dan says “Sorry about your computer, why don’t you come sit on my lap?”

Col acknowledges the loss as it directly relates to his ability to watch Youtube. “This time I want a cartoon with a lion, a wolf and a volkswagon beetle,” he requests, and voila! there it is in a 3:48 snippet (in German, however). The rest of computer-land is still an enigma. Last week I told Col I would play Legos with him after I sent out a quick e-mail message. “Oh. Is that like when you send out a message and the wind carries it off?”

Unfortunately Col and I are on par with our computer comprehension and thus I’ve had my ears boxed by everyone with an opinion on PC’s. My computer guy says Dell’s the best for the lowball amount of money I’m willing to cough up for a lap top (but steer clear of HP).  The guy at Office Depot got tight-lipped and sullen when I asked his opinion of Dell. “I’m just not going to speak about Dell,” he replied as if I had asked him how his estranged brother was doing. But he sure did like HP. “Does brand name recognition mean anything to you?” He asked, clearly annoyed. Well, gosh, not since I begged my parents for Guess jeans in 1984. Then, a tech guy who works for a friend’s company told me he’d sooner see me purchase a $200 lap top from Walmart than sink any cash into a sorry Dell. Next, a woman from a popular local, PC outlet said Dell’s were great, just don’t buy the shoddy Inspiron, which despite her opinion recieved 4.5 stars out of 5 in customer ratings. No one I talked to thought any PC could be expected to last more than four years.

Oy double vey.

I almost abandoned everything computer-dependant. Could the blog become a handwritten newsletter like the one my mother-in-law used to send from her Canadian homestead in the seventies? (In which she’d report on garden tips, raising boys, animal husbandry and sewing mushroom-print, courdoroy housedresses – which I’ve inherited: the newsletters and the housedress!)

Last night I finally let my mind relax at Col’s preschool Spring Sing. This is one of those events where a passel of spit-shined and beaming children sing their rehearsed little ditties so earnestly, so unselfconsciously, it seems you’ve fast-forwarded to their high school graduation for all the nostalgic weepiness of the adult crowd. When Miss Stacy introduced the evening program, titled “This Little Light of Mine” by explaining how all these children light up our lives, there was a mass of eye-blinking sniffles across the audience, spreading much like The Wave at a sports game. The singing was heartwarming and also a little hysterical, what with the errant nose-picking, the spaced-out kids, or Col’s friend Cassidy who fell backwards off her bench in the middle of Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds,” taking out the boy behind her. There was a bit of a panicked hush amongst the parents while the kids kept on track, belting out “every little thing, is gonna be alright,” while Cassidy righted herself, a bit flushed, but smiling like a champ and still singing.

It’s safe to say Col’s not going to be star of the school musical anytime soon. Dan interpreted Col’s strange, concerned and slightly pained expression as Col having to go pee. I thought maybe even poop, but Col assured us later that the teachers encouraged all the kids to void their bladders/bowels before the performance.

And I woke up this morning and bought a Mac, because no one ever talks trash about Macs and I believe it’ll last more than four years and how could I send out a handwritten newsletter when so many of you choose to remain anonymous. Ahem. And though the Mac hasn’t arrived yet, I haven’t been this cool since I had a pair of pegged, stonewashed Guess jeans on my eleven year old ass.

Happy early weekend!

22 Comments leave one →
  1. May 6, 2010 11:02 pm

    yeah, I’ve noticed that no one ever trashes Macs. You lucky girl. Tell me how hard it is to learn! : )

  2. May 7, 2010 4:32 am

    This “extremely small life disaster” of which you speak is one of my worst nightmares! I’m always terrified it’s going to happen to me. I’ve never heard a Mac user complain, so that must be a good thing. I’m also considering a Mac when my crappy Dell Inspiron inevitably dies (it’s been going for five years now…I’m getting nervous.)

  3. May 7, 2010 8:26 am

    How is it that “Three Little Birds” always pops up just when you need it, when your kiddo needs it?! Theo was asking me about Bob the other day. He wanted to know why that man kept singing “stir it up”? Then he called us “little darlins’ ” the rest of the day. Love that!

    Congrats on your new Mac. We bought an HP {my hubby really wanted a Mac} and I feel like I made the wrong choice. Oh well. Next time.

    Happy weekend to you too!

  4. Ami permalink
    May 7, 2010 8:50 am

    Ah – I cherished that feeling of trying to keep quiet and steady for the video camera in my hands as I was filming cole’s play last fall…. To make it a tad more embarrassing, he goes to a K-8 and all the parents of older kids were looking at me with that look you get when you’ve just brought your newborn into society… unashamed sympathy, relatedness and love. It was like “oh honey, look, that woman is CRYING… how sweet…..” Nevermind the adorable 5 years olds making animal sounds on stage in their costumes!
    I LOVE my mac. I’ve owned both PC and mac (PC’s were always hand-me downs…) It’s about a year and half old and is flawless as far as I can tell. Its loaded with great programs and features and I really love the environmental aspect. People don’t often mention it, but having a low VOC computer with recycled/recyclable components is great! They say that it takes more energy to create the computer than the computer will ever use even if it was plugged in for it’s entire lifetime! You’re gonna love it!

  5. emily permalink
    May 7, 2010 9:51 am

    Reading about your computer decision is a bit like watching my children’s performances. There will be singing, never fear. :>)

    ps – don’t forget to learn the secret Mac handshake.

  6. Ellen permalink
    May 7, 2010 9:59 am

    I’ve never had a Mac, but I’ve seen people do such cool musical and visual things with their photo slide shows. Let us know how steep the learning curve is.

    When you get it up and running, it would be great to see some photos of the Spring Sing.

  7. May 7, 2010 10:34 am

    Aww man. You have gone over to the Apple side…

    Oh well, nobody’s perfect so my stalking behavior on your site will not change. :)

    Have a lovely Mother’s Day.

  8. May 7, 2010 10:34 am

    ooo, i want to see these mushroom dresses and handwritten newletters! macs are really great, i hope you enjoy!

  9. May 7, 2010 11:36 am

    I would totally subscribe to your hand-written newsletter.

    I’ve been lusting over my very own mac for some time…let us know how you love it.

  10. Molly permalink
    May 7, 2010 11:40 am

    I think I would like it if you handwrote the newsletter, with doodles and things glued onto it, like seeds and beads. Then scan it and upload it on the blog. :)

  11. May 7, 2010 1:08 pm

    The Apple apple: it’s the Guess triangle of the new millennium. Did you get to pick out a really cool color??

    Also, glad you’re feeling better, and hope you have a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend. Maybe you can relax in a mushroom-print housedress, yes?

  12. Melissa permalink
    May 7, 2010 2:34 pm

    dude i am laughing so hard i actually shed a few tears. your description of the school show just got me good.

    congrats on the mac!! i am embarrassed to report that i don’t really know how to use mine to its full awesomeness, but it’s really lovely and the first laptop i’ve every owned.

    oh, and i also loved what col said about messages blowing in the wind!

    here’s to fewer disasters, no matter what their size!

  13. May 7, 2010 5:16 pm

    Woo hoo! Let me know if I can every help with any Mac questions. I’m our local mac geek wannabee. ;) Congrats and here’s hoping for the end to your computer woes (knock wood)!

  14. May 8, 2010 12:23 am

    Macs and pegged Guess jeans!

    You’ll love your mac, friend.

  15. May 8, 2010 5:23 am

    what a fun read (as always)!!

    i just took a big leap in the technology world…my hubby bought me a netbook (for my birthday last week) and my very first “smart phone” (for mother’s day this week).

    i honestly can’t tell you who makes my netbook…really i just made a list of what i need to do…

    a little photo editing

    and i need to be able to do it pretty much anywhere.

    oh and i’d really like RED!!!!

    a week later a package arrived in the mail and suddenly i have my little mobile office all set to go!

    then two days ago my phone….which once again i did not pick….just rattled off my desired features to my personal shopper….arrived and now i can also check e-mail, update facebook, twitter etc., be guided by GPS, take photos (and who knows what else) by my PHONE!!!!

    crazy stuff this technology is.

    happy mother’s day to you my friend…


  16. Jan permalink
    May 8, 2010 1:39 pm

    So glad you’re feeling better and I’m sure you’ll LOVE your Mac. You made the right choice!


  17. May 8, 2010 3:03 pm

    Oh Noes! I hate it when something happens to the computer, because I also have Col’s level of comprehension when it comes to computers. I’m pretty sure Rose is right about the sound a dying computer makes, our desktop made the same sound last year when it died.
    I love your description of Col’s spring sing, the twins have their spring program on the 28th and I can’t wait. The teary eyes, the smothered (and not so smothered) laughter, it’s just ‘good times!’
    Glad you’re feeling better!

  18. May 8, 2010 10:51 pm

    Oh man, the things your kids say just make me laugh. It’s great that you do such a good job at recording a lot of it. They will laugh for sure too someday.

    I too go through the which brand, how much mullah…and then in the end, it really is ‘you pay for what you get’. If you want anything to last, you’ve gotta pay. My biggie was the new lense I bought for my camera, but I LOVE it, so it all worked out.


  19. May 9, 2010 11:48 am

    Oh yay! You will love your Mac. I made the switch at Christmastime, and it really is a whole new world. Happy Mother’s Day!!!

  20. May 11, 2010 12:13 am

    glad to see you got a mac!!! I’m really happy with mine and I am not a “techy” type of girl.
    Funnily enough I just picked up a pair of Guess stonewash jeans at the thrift store the other day to make stuffed throwing stones for the kids to play with. I can only do this craft today because of heros like you who actually wore such jeans.
    Thanks for the blog….truly a delight to read every post
    And hey I am up in Canada and the idea of a handwritten blog (i guess also known as a letter ) sounds super appealing…… maybe only to a geek like me.

  21. May 11, 2010 12:11 pm

    Congrats on your new purchase! You’re gonna love!! My Mac is at least 10 years old and still kicken like a bull!!

  22. May 14, 2010 7:13 pm

    I am convert. PC to Mac. I will never go back. Absolutely worth every penny….. wait until Col & Rose figure out how to use garage band and photo booth before you do…. so much fun :) Mine make songs and email them to me…..

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