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weekending: the reason I go to bed at 9pm

February 19, 2012

5:25 am

(from outside our room) pitter patter pitter patter thump thump pitter patter slam.

5:26 am

(from inside our room) old bones creakily turning over, groaning, pillows placed over heads.

5:31 am

(inside our room) Col: (whispering) Mama? Can me and Rosie share that piece of chocolate Terrance gave me for Valentines Day?

Me: (calculating in head: the geometry of splitting mini chocolate bar into equal halves + hearty snarfing of previous contraband = 5 more minutes). Okay, just be quiet out there.

Col: (running out of room, shouting) She said yes!

5:34 am

The kids climb into our bed, chocolatey mouthed and having sprouted several more elbows.

Rose: (breathing hotly on my face) Mama, what’re you doing?

Me: Ummmnnnhhhm.

Col: Where does wind come from?

Me: Hmmmhhhmmnh.

Col: Does it come from planets?

Rose: Somebody tickle me!

Col: I think it comes from when gravity pushes up the snow and it flows really fast and makes wind.

Me: Honey, gravity holds things down, it doesn’t push things up.

Col: (huffily) Well sometimes it does.

Rose: Do you know my three most ticklish spots?

Me: Hmmmphmmmnnn.

Rose: Col woke me up.

Col: No I didn’t.

Rose: Yeah. Cause you kept flushing the toilet.

Col: Oh yeah.

Me: You purposely flushed the toilet to wake Rosie up?

Col: I wanted someone to play with.

Dan: (adjusts pillow on head) Can you guys talk about this somewhere else?

Rose: So. First there’s my neck, then my middle and do you want to know the very most ticklish place?

Dan: Maybe I should get up and go scour the neighborhood for antlers.

(first antlerless buck spotted in the hood yesterday!)

Me: Could you make coffee first, honey?

Rose: And tickle me?


Two days ago, still attached to this guy:

* if you’re new around here, you can catch up on antler-mania by reading about the antler collector and the great antler giveaway.

Also, an NPR spot I wrote on why deer and elk grow and then drop their antlers.

*** ** *** ** *** ** *** ** ***

What’re all the kids listening to these days? Ipods? Izods? After our old hand-me-down boombox from my grandmother broke last fall, we finally bought a new one with a few wooden nickels and some confederate dollars.

It plays my mixed tapes from 1988 and only weighs 300 pounds!

*** ** *** ** *** ** *** ** *** ** ***

A funny thing happened on the way to making pineapple vinegar. The geode I was using to weigh down the pineapple peels started dissolving. Luckily, Col’s buddy Mathew’s dad is a geologist, who assured me it was just the calcium carbonate which reacts with carbon dioxide (fermentation byproduct) to form calcium bicarbonate. Phew. I have a feeling it’s this sort of thing that scares people away from fermentation.

Fortified with calcium! 

*** ** *** ** *** ** *** ** ***

Baba and Nana are here for a week! Having the grandparents here is like a fresh wind blowing through the house carrying new currents of patience, love and gratitude.

The only other notable thing that happened this weekend was that Col and Rose had a dear friend sleep over, who peed voluminously in her bed, the amount of liquid you’d expect an elephant to void in the night. “Wow! I must have peed like three times!” she said, awed and completely unembarrassed.

Oh, and this just in. A text from my friend Kati who was over this afternoon with her son, Remi:  :::ALERT::: Rose may or may not have a clandestine stash of scissors somewhere. Remi’s new haircut looks fabulous, though.

How was your weekend?

ps: Apron giveaway winner announced on giveaway post.

10 Comments leave one →
  1. February 19, 2012 10:42 pm

    Hahahahhaaaaaaaa…many laughs in this one.

    My weekend was quiet and meditative (no kids). Happy to have them back tonight :).

  2. February 20, 2012 12:23 am

    Oh my, smiles galore as I read this post. :) Thanks.

  3. abozza permalink
    February 20, 2012 7:04 am

    Tee-hee! That’s exactly why I’m asleep at 9 pm at night, also! Too funny! We found an antler from a young buck that hadn’t really developed into anything a few weeks ago and my boys almost lost their minds. I can’t even imagine what they’d do if they found antlers like the one Col is holding in this picture!

  4. February 20, 2012 2:16 pm

    Made me laugh more than once. You should save this for when they are teenagers and want to sleep until 11:00 am. I’m trying my first attempt at cider vinegar right now. But didn’t realize it was supposed to be fermented into hard cider before I added the mother. So we’ll see what happens.

  5. Melissa permalink
    February 20, 2012 7:19 pm

    you are so funny, especially in this post!

    lilit, who never wakes up at 5, woke up at 5 this morning. and leeor and i went to see the artist last night (soooo good, so worth only 5 hours of sleep) and then we had to unwind by eating sundaes when we got home. because the popcorn was so salty. you see?

    except that when the kids are in the bed don’t you secretly just love it? we always get wistful in those moments, like, one day this is the last place they’ll want to hang out. xo

  6. Bree permalink
    February 21, 2012 10:24 am

    The opening to this post was adorable and hilarious. You are quite gifted to remember with clarity the awesome things your kids say even when you are half asleep! I wish I could do that…. but since our kids are so darn similar, I just sort of re-live it through your writings and that works for me!

  7. February 21, 2012 11:37 am

    i want to know rose’s very most ticklish place… lol at calcium fortified fermented products. :) getting excited about ginger beer….

  8. February 22, 2012 7:58 pm

    i still can’t believe chad was the first one to notice, *hours later*, that remi’s bangs were lopped off. ran into yer parents at east by southwest the next day and yer mom came over to the table specifically to check out remi’s new do. thanks to rose, he’s a very stylie baby. love you guys. xoxo

  9. February 23, 2012 11:20 pm

    LOL. Rose is a stylist? Awesome. Little Miss is in desperate need of a bang trim. Will you send her over? Please??

  10. February 23, 2012 11:32 pm

    1. I think Colorado bucks have bigger racks than Montana bucks.
    2. That is exactly what scares me about fermenting.
    3. That morning convo is so familiar!

    I think we’ll have fun together when we actually meet.


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